Clarion Rocking Chairs May Be Banned

The Clarion News for Tuesday, July 13th shows a senior lady being arrested for sitting in a rocking chair while her beloved South Street is denuded of shade trees.  There is concern bordering on panic about the future of rocking chairs in Clarion Borough.

The rumor is that city council leaders have asked the borough solicitor to research the strongest charge and penalty for possession or use of a rocking chair within the borough.  It is not clear if rocking chairs within the confines of home or business, or on the Clarion University campus, will be exempted from the potentially new ordinance.

In Michelle’s they have preemptively removed all rocking chairs.  This panic may spread.  Porches may give way to uncomfortable, straight-backed, static chairs.

Before the shade and pleasure of summer are fractured and lost, cooler-headed political leaders must step forward.  I say, don’t turn Clarion into a hot Tea Party.  Charles Marlin

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Cleveland Stalker Mystery In Clarion

The Clarion News reported in their November 20th edition that there is evidence of a Cleveland stalker present in our community in the recent past.  The paper had no photographs and few details, but I will summarize the little they reported.  Unknown persons representing the Cleveland Clinic came into town with money, purchased the former R&S Metals property, and quickly left town in fancy cars.  Why would they want that property you may well ask.  Ask indeed.

I feel there are people in Clarion who know more than they are saying but those people are the kind who do not respond well to anonymous phone calls.  I am left with only speculation.  If anyone would call me to add rampant rumor we could solve this mystery.  I speculate that the Cleveland Clinic plans to use the old R&S property as a FOB (Forward Operating Base) in a planned surge into UPMC territory

Casualties and property damage will occur.  The state should offer medical surge insurance similar to mine subsidence insurance.  We will need protection if two behemoths start fighting in our neighborhoods.  Charles Marlin

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